Archaic dying flower

November 23, 2009

Archaic dying flower allow
Me to speak to your demise.
Apathy took hold:
Your roots rotted in stagnation.
Cold and indifferent you fled
Toward the smoothest path
Unaware of its destination.

Now you must continue in
Blind, unwavering devotion even
Though the stench of your
Own withering flesh tells
You to turn back.

How maddening it is to
Bash my head against your
Foundation of ignorance only to
Destroy my own existence.

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Postcard from Helms Jackson

November 21, 2009

Yo! It’s me Helms Jackson coming at you from the netherworld. Being just the thought of a memory gives me a lot of freedom. It feels good actually. Hovering around checking things out. You oughta try it. Four out of five dentists recommend it.

But I know our time is short so I’ll get to the point. The words shared so far represent the early stage of my thoughts. Chilling ain’t it? A good friend and I were on my balcony the other day smoking a spliff and he asked me why I hadn’t done any writing lately. I told him since I’m just 23 years old, I don’t think I’ve lived enough to really share anything besides drugs and suicide and loneliness. He said that that’s all any young writer has to share, for the most part, and so I shouldn’t hold back.

After I thought about it for a while, I figured, you know, he’s right. So I decided to let it all out.

I started with free form, almost like little notes to myself. Most of these so far came out effortlessly in one stream of thought while sitting in my chair by the window in my small attic rental in a duplex near downtown. A few of them I wrote after coming home from the bar drunk.

What comes next are more structured efforts to express my feelings. Some will be forced into meter and rhyme scheme. Others will be poor attempts to mimic Elizabethan structure. Marlowe had a big impact on me.

I’m leading you down this path. I hope you will follow.


Force over Grace

November 21, 2009

The flowers of Babylon die as
Zion reclaims its place of predominance.
Sad it is as I peer through Venetian blinds
At the consternation of a superficial world
Revolving on axis that
Simultaneously seem ancient and avant-garde.

As the lion attacks the gazelle
(force over grace)
The world slaps my ideals with
Shackles of steel. Created and utilized,
Abandoned after being abused.


Undaunted by the Weight of Time

November 21, 2009

How could your eyes outshine the sun
In the vision I have, undaunted
By the weight of time as
The roots of the past foment longing.

True it is that the weight of words
Lies at the heart of their origin.
Ostentatiously some seek sympathy while
Others only regretfully require regard.

Following the dictates of my heart
As influenced by the senses, I
Find it impossible to ignore these things:
Beauty, amiability, intelligence, compassion.


Rain on a Sunday

November 21, 2009

Elements of pain pervading
My body.
Rain on a Sunday, no sun, taming the wildness inside.
Try to provide,, try to care.
(Spend your life as someone else’s toy.)

Surely this is false.
A net cast before the eyes of humanity.
Vanity is corruption, destruction in vain.
Rain on a Sunday, no Son, taming the wildness inside.


Chosen Paths

November 21, 2009

At times you fly a million miles an hour
Beyond attainment towards tomorrow with
Despair in tow, waiting for the sound
Of alleviation to bring again reckoning and
For insinuation to satisfy the need.
Knowing all too well how the weight will
Cause the flight to crash and burn on
The hills of existence where the earth
Rises and falls with the breath of time.
Again, flying through the azure entity
Tomorrow will be the same or
A different path could be chosen.


Cops and Corporate Mates

November 20, 2009

Why write about it
Amidst the intention?
They said they’d never let it
Escape their attention.
Cops and corporate mates
Wield their batons:
“Do what I say or I’ll break my bat over your head!”

Why think about it when
It is tangential at best?
Anything non-intrinsic
Then you change the subject, but
I’ve seen through you (and you bleed too)
It is the fear of your own blood
That makes you shackle my life.


Sediment for the Sane

November 20, 2009

I was the only one getting high
When we heard that you had gone away
All they had to say is that
You were a restless wild one
A bit too young to know the meaning of humanity
Since it’s such a travesty to leave, but
There is no exit and the age of reason
Cries for nausea and three other ways
To guard yourself against forgetting
About the decline and fall of your mind
On the confrontational stage.

I had a crazy dream in the summer
I was sediment for the sane
Who let Jean Paul sleep on a bench
With the vagabond thief Genet.


Tacitly

November 20, 2009

Under a tree out in a field
Flies buzzing all around
Cows that will become my meals
Lie tacitly upon the ground.
Under a tree on the side of a hill
Birds flying all around
Two lovers discover the feel
This vision can only bring me down.

You cannot see why I’m feeling lonely
You cannot touch what makes me gray
I cannot be the only one to feel this way.
Lately I’ve been thinking, somewhere along the way
The more they try to change us, the more we stay the same,

But …

Under a tree out in a field
Flies buzzing all around
Cows whose parents where my meal
Lie tacitly upon the ground.


One Night Stands (Are Just as Lonely)

November 20, 2009

As a fat youth I
Was told that in time
You would not judge me by my size
Nor look at me with spiteful eyes as I pass by.
Once I became thin and
You pulled me in when
I needed to be left alone.
I ravished you and you screamed in bliss.
Never did I think I would miss
My excesses but nevertheless it’s
Come to pass that one night stands are just as lonely.
My soul mate hides from my
Hate and other problems I could not
Shed like so many inches from my
Wasted time going by as suicide fills
My mind at least with something besides
The spiteful self-pity.
Cities are like maggots rotting in the sun
Pour salt on them for fun just to watch them squirm.
The infirmary is full of wasted time
So I surmise that if I hide in my
White walled room and watch you from afar
You can’t hurt me while I
Have my way.